The suburbs they are dreaming,
They’re twinkle in her eye,
She’s been feeling frisky since her husband said goodbye,
She wears a low cut T-shirt runs a little B&B,
She’s most accommodating when she’s in her lingerie,

Wife swapping is the future,
You know that it would suit ya,

Yes, they’re stereotypes,
There must be more to life,
All your life you’re dreaming,
And then you stop dreaming,
From time to time you know,
You should be going on another bender,

The suburbs they are sleeping,
But he’s dressing up tonight,
She likes a man in uniform he loves to wear it tight,
They’re on the lover sofa, they’re on the patio,
And when the fun is over watch themselves on video,

The neighbours may be staring,
But they are just past caring.

Country House

(So the story begins)
City Dweller, successful fella,
Thought to himself, Oops I’ve got a lot of money,
I’m caught in a rat race terminally,
I’m a professional cynic, But my heart’s not in it,
I’m paying the price of living life at the legal limit,
Caught up in a centuries anxiety,
It preys on him, He’s getting thin,

Now he lives in a house, a very big house in the country,
Watching afternoon repeats, And the food he eats in the country,
He takes all manner of pills, And piles up analyst bills in the country,
It’s like an animal farm, Lots of rural charm in the country,

Now he’s got morning glory, Life’s a different story,
Everything’s going Jackanory,
In touch with his own mortality,
He’s reading Balzac, Knocking back Prozac,
It’s a helping hand, That makes you feel wonderfully bland,
Oh, it’s the centuries remedy, For the faint at heart,
A new start,

He lives in a house, a very big house in the country,
He’s got a fog in the chest,
So he needs a lot of rest in the country,
He doesn’t drink smoke laugh,
He takes herbal baths in the country,
Oh it’s an animal farm,
But you’ll come to no harm in the country,
Blow, Blow me out I am so sad I don’t know why.

Best Days
Bow bells say goodbye to the last train,
Over the river they all go again,
Out into leafy nowhere hope someone,
Waiting out there for them,
Cabbie has his mind on the fare to the sun,
He works nights but it’s not much fun,
Picks up the London yo yo’s, All on their own down Soho,
Please take me home,

Other people wouldn’t want to hear you,
If you said that these are the best days of their lives,
Other people would turn around and laugh at you,
If you said that these were the best days of our lives,

Trellick Tower’s been calling,
I know she’ll leave me in the morning,

In hotel cells listening to dial tones,
Remote Controls and cable moans,
In his drink he’s been talking,
Gets disconnected sleepwalking home.

Charmless Man
I met him in a crowded room,
Where people go to drink away their gloom,
He sat me down and so began, The story of a charmless man,
Educated the expensive way, He knows his Claret from his Beaujolais,
I think he’d like to of been Ronnie Kray,
But then nature didn’t make him that way,

He thinks he’s educated, Airs those family shares,
Will protect him that we’ll respect him,
He moves in circles of friends,
Who just pretend that they like him,
He does the same to them, And when you put it all together,
There’s the model of a charmless man,

He knows the swingers and their cavalry,
Says he can get in anywhere for free,
I began to go a little cross-eyed,
And from this charmless man I just had to hide,

He talks at speed, He gets nose bleeds,
He doesn’t see his days are tumbling upon him,
And yet he tries so hard to please,
He’s just so keen for you to listen,
But no one’s listening,
And when you put it all together,
There’s the model of a charmless man.

Fade away
They stumbled into their lives,
In a vague way became man and wife,
One got the other they deserved one another,
They settled in a brand new town,
With people from the same background,
They kept themselves busy, Long hours left them dizzy,
Now when he’s in, she’s out,

All you ever do is fade away,
They’re not making plans,
Because now they understand,
All you ever do is fade away,

He noticed he had visible lines,
She worried about her behind,
Their birth had been the death of them,
It didn’t really bother them,
Now when she’s in, he’s out.

This is a public warning, Be careful when you’re out,
We’re having freaky weather, There’s a lot of it about,
The terraces are swinging, He’s a monkey on the roof,
You’ve seen him on the telly, Now let me introduce,
He’s naughty by nature,
On doubles and chasers,
He’s a little boy racer,
Shooting guns on the high street of love,

In a crowd it’s hard to spot him, But anonymity can cost,
He’s never cheap n’ cheerful, He’s Hugo and he’s Boss,
He’s riding through the desert on a camel light,
And on a magic carpet, He’ll fly away tonight,
Open Sesame,

Sees her in double,
Then pukes on the pavement,
Likes her all clean shaven,
Shooting guns on the high street of love.

The Universal
This is the next century,
Where the universal’s free,
You can find it anywhere,
Yes the future’s been sold,
Every night we’re gone,
And to kareokee songs,
Although the words are wrong,

It really really could happen,
When the days they seem to fall straight through you,
Just let them go,

No one here is alone,
Satellites in every home,
The universal’s here,
Here for everyone,
Every paper that you read,
Says tomorrow’s you’re lucky day,
Well here’s your lucky day.

Mr Robinson’s Quango
Mr Robinson and his quango,
Dirty dealer, expensive car,
Runs the buses and the evening star,
He got a hair piece and he got herpes,
His private life is very discreet,
A nicer man you’ll never going to meet,

A self professed saviour of the dim right wing,
He’s got respiratory problems and a masons ring,

Mr Robinson and his quango,
Drinks with general and the county wives,
Yes the family business is doing alright,
They’re doing tangos down in the quango’s,
He makes them tick and he makes them tock,
And of he doesn’t like you he’ll put you in the dock,

He just sits in his leather chair twiddling his thumbs,
Gets his secretary in and pinches her bum,

He ran into the toilet in the town hall,
Got a biro out and wrote on the wall,
I’m wearing black French knickers on under my suit,
I’ve got stockings and suspenders on and I’m feeling rather loose,

Oh I’m a naughty boy,
Oh I’m a naughty, naughty boy.

He Thought of Cars
Moscow’s still red, The young man’s dead,
Gone to heaven instead,
The evening news said he was confused,
The motorways will all merge soon,
Lottery winner buys the moon,
They’ve come to save us,
The space invaders are here,

He thought of cars,
And where, where to drive them,
And who, to drive there with,
And there, there was no one,

There’s panic at London Heathrow,
Everybody wants to go up into the blue,
But there’s a ten year queue,
Columbia is in top gear,
It shouldn’t snow this time of year,
Now America’s shot gone,
And done the lot,

He thought of planes and where,
Where to fly to,
And who to fly there with,
And there, there was no one, no one.

It Could Be You
Churchill got his lucky number,
But tomorrow there’s another,
Could be me could be you,
No silver spoon,
Sticky teeth they rot too soon,
You’ve got to have the best tunes,
Or that’s it you’ve blown it,

All we want is to be happy,
In our homes like happy families,
Be the man on the beach,
With the world at his feet,
Yes, it could be you,

The Likely Lads,
Are picking up the uglies,
Yesterday they were just puppies,
Beery slurs now life’s a blur,
Telly Addicts,
You should see them at it,
Getting in a panic,
Will we be there,
Trafalgar Square?

So don’t worry,
If it’s not your lucky number
Because tomorrow there’s another
Could be me, could be you.

Ernold Same
Ernold Same awoke from the same dream,
In the same bed at the same time,
Looked in the same mirror,
Made the same frown,
And felt the same way as he did everyday,
Then Ernold Same caught the same train,
At the same station, sat in the same seat,
With the same nasty stain,
Next to same old what’s his name,
On his way to the same place to do the same thing,
Again and again…Poor old Ernold Same,
Oh Ernold Same,
His world stays the same,
Today will always be tomorrow,
Poor old Ernold Same,
He’s getting that feeling once again,
Nothing will change tomorrow.

Globe Alone
Who maddest one on the M1,
Who hasn’t stopped sucking his thumb,
Who very straight and never grins,
Who cars what car he’s driving in,

He is because he saw it on a commercial break,
And if he doesn’t get what he want,
Then he’ll get a headache,
Because he wants it, needs it, almost loves it,
He’s here on his own, on globe alone,

Who joined health club to glisten,
Into hi fi precision,
Who’s mobile phone gives him the bone,
Who’s very keen on Sharon Stone,

Who only eats at the new brasserie,
Who only ever gets merry,
Who wouldn’t be seen at bed time,
Without putting Calvin Klein’s on.

Dan Abnormal (The Meanie Leanie)
Meanie Leanie come on down,
Come and entertain the town,
It’s Friday night and we’re all bored,
Times been called there is no more,
Times been called it’s such a bore,

Dan Abnormal, not normal at all,
It’s not his fault we made him this way,
He’ll imitate you try to ape you,
But it’s not his fault Dan watches T.V.

The meanie leanie stays up late,
Mopes around gets in a state,
He the killer in your arcade,
Killing Gangstas ready made,
Cause that is where the future’s made,

Tele port me,

Dan went to his local burger bar,
I want McNormal and chips,
Or I’ll blow you to bits,
Give us it,

It’s the miseries at half past three,
Watching video nasties,
He has dirty dreams while he’s asleep,
Dan’s just like you you see,
He’s the meanie leanie.

Entertain Me
The weekend is back, But so is he,
Head to the floodlights, See the fraternity,
They are waiting, I hear them up in the north,
And down in the south, And all that is spewing,
Spewing out of his mouth,

Entertain me,
At his and her dating,
Bored minds agree,
Requirements to be stated,
Replies awaited,
She wants a lose fit,
He wants instant whip,
He estimates her arrival,
Will she really want him badly,

Entertain me,

A car, a house both in the street,
The boredom of the sober week,
The weekend’s here, hip hip hooray,
To make the blues just go away,

Entertain me.

Yuko and Hiro
This is y work place, And these are the people I work with,
Yuko and Hiro,
We work together, We work for the company,
That works to the future,
They will protect us,
We work together,

I never see you,
We’re never together,
I’ll love you forever,

I drink in the evenings,
It helps with relaxing,
I can’t sleep without drinking,
We drink together,
From Monday to Saturday, I go to my workplace,
But on Sunday we’re together,
Yuko and Hiro.

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